ADELAIDE THORNE - Blog

In Which an Author Reviews Her Works

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 13:49:55 GMT

It's been nearly a decade since the release of The Trace (2017), the first book of my YA sci-fi trilogy. I remember when the book first released, how my husband came home from work and found me sitting on the couch in awe, reading my own book and grinning.

Now, I must bluntly inform you that I do not crack open The Trace unless necessity demands. Oh, the things I would have done differently.

How it all began

The Trace was my first book, and if you have never written a book from start to finish, then you cannot comprehend my meaning when I say Writing a book is difficult. If you are a new writer and you're realizing this truth with some dismay, let me reassure you that I've now written 5 complete books and one collection of short stories, and here's what I have concluded after my near-decade of being a full-time writer: Writing a book is difficult. You, my new writer friend, are in good company.

The Trace first came to my imagination when I was 14 years old, about to start high school. At its heart, the story belongs to a girl who finds things like superpowers, secret government organizations, and teen romance to be the most fabulous concepts to have ever been conceived. I first started drafting in 2011, when I was 19 years old and a freshman in college. I'm so glad that I recall with vivid clarity exactly how it all began. I was in Astronomy class, mulling over my recent date with Nathan, my first-ever real boyfriend. We'd sat on the floor of Barnes & Noble, next to the CDs, and I'd told him about my idea of a girl who gets her memories wiped. Here's what he said back:

"Why don't you write it?"

So, in Astronomy class the following week, I picked up my pen and wrote, The first thing that hit me was the smell.

It wasn't my first attempt at writing a book. I'd started several in high school, and completed one. My original goal had been to go to FSU film school and become a screenwriter. So, storytelling wasn't a foreign concept to me. That didn't mean I knew what I was doing.

To give credit where it's due (and after acknowledging that I owe all my intellect and creativity to God's own genius), I did have a knack for it. I had a feel for pacing, for character establishment and motives, for setting the scene, for subtext and foreshadowing. Where I struggled (and continue to struggle) was with direction. I pantsed the heck out of that first rough draft and wound up with bloated story without much plot, other than the fact that Ella had to win the soccer tournament! Yikes.

It took me five years to turn The Trace into the story it is now. I went through many drafts—and I mean, complete overhaul. Starting from scratch. Reworking everything. I made so many mistakes; and, while of course I wish I hadn't erred, I would have learned nothing had I not. So I can't really regret those five years of hair-pulling.

The Trace released when I was 26 years old, twelve years after the idea first came to me. My mother-in-law was dying. I'll never forget standing next to her in hospice, seeing the "IT'S LIVE!" emails from my publisher, wanting to celebrate but not knowing how when death and sorrow were ever before me. I did not dedicate The Trace to my mother-in-law, but I did dedicate it to her son, who first encouraged me to write it. I hope that makes her happy.

The Trace

*Warning: my Whitewashed reviews contain spoilers!*

Over the years, I've learned that it's unhealthy to cringe so vehemently over my debut novel. And so, while I write the following words with a good deal of self-deprecation, know that it's good-natured.

Dear Ella: WE UNDERSTAND THAT KARA HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED.

So concerned was I with establishing character motivation that I over-established it. I remember re-reading The Trace once and wishing that Ella would stop reminding everybody that her best friend had been kidnapped by Grifters, and it was Ella's duty to save her, because she felt guilty, because Kara's kidnapping was her fault, because the Grifters only kidnapped her to get to Ella, so Ella was going to save Kara, who'd been kidnapped, because--

I could've trimmed 8k words by addressing that issue alone.

Next we have what I call the Young Adult Trappings. There's a cute boy with hair falling into his eyes. There's a Mean Girl with Icy Eyes who hates our MC for no apparent reason. Teen angst waits around every corner. Why is Vires so saucy? Why is Koleman such a jerk?

On the one hand, it's a YA book. Those trappings make the genre. That's what 19-year-old me thought, at least. But 19-year-old me had been raised on a diet of modern YA books and had little interest in anything published before 2000. By the time I was 26 and working on Book 2, I'd matured both emotionally and intellectually and already couldn't stand the angst of The Trace. If I could change just one thing about the book, I'd make all the characters more mature. They can still be teens without having to be so teen-y.

I prefer slow pacing both in reading and writing, so I can't objectively comment there, but I know the pacing gets attacked. Should it have taken Ella seven chapters to leave her hometown and start the Hero's Journey? I'd wanted to fully establish her home life, her friendship with Kara, the fact that something strange is happening, but I probably over-established it and could have heavily trimmed the beginning.

Originally, my plot for The Trace was essentially "Ella's memory was wiped and everyone at the MTA is dropping clues." As the greater story took on flesh, the memory-wiping became less prevalent, until I removed most of the super obvious hints. (Ethan even tells her, in one draft.) But I'm not satisfied with the balance I reached and think the book would have been stronger if there was more emphasis on Why are all the cadets acting so strange around me? rather than less. I was afraid of making the twist too obvious, but what I wound up with is a reveal that wasn't properly or satisfyingly set-up.

Because of the memory-wiping, I always viewed this story as a sequel, which means I left some things intentionally vague because those things were already established in the "first" book. The Ella+Kyle Watson backstory, for example. I wanted The Trace to feel like it was missing something. In hindsight, that was pretty stupid of me to attempt as a debut author who has absolutely no ground on which to stand. Why should any reader trust that I knew what I was doing? Some reviewers complain that the story feels incomplete, and I don't blame them.

Lastly, the cliffhanger ending. I couldn't see any way around it, based on the a-chronological telling of the story, but I admit that cliffhangers are extremely irritating and generally considered to be a cheap writing tactic.

OH! No, the worst part of this book is when Ella stumbles into the Society meeting by way of chimney and some puzzle hatch thing. I loathe all of that very much.

In conclusion:

The Trace is bloated with Ella's internal monologue and suffers from immature writing that shows itself in the characters' behaviors. Things are overly-explained to the point of slowing the pacing and offending the reader's intelligence. The foreshadowing is not properly set-up, and, with the abrupt ending and some poorly fleshed-out beats, The Trace feels incomplete. Which, in truth, it is. The Trace doesn't work as a standalone story, and that's its biggest flaw. Or is that what makes the story unique? You tell me, because I can't make up my mind.

The Integer

By the time I queried Evolved Publishing in 2016, I'd already written all three books. Since I'm so bad at finding my own stories, this was absolutely essential for me, as I was able to see the overarching plan and make the needed adjustments to The Trace.

But, 26-year-old me hated Integer's draft, which I'd begun writing when I was still in college, so I wrote a whole new version that eliminated a lot of the aforementioned angst. It's still present, but some of the YA Trappings were lifted due to my newly acquired aversion to them. Additionally, I was a bit better at the whole "writing a book" thing, so my style matures between Trace and Integer. Readers noticed the difference and commented on it, which is nice, but also confusing, given that Integer takes place before Trace, meaning Ella is younger and should be even more immature. Alas.

My biggest beef with The Integer is the pacing. The bits at SPO-10 go on waaaaaaay too long. Ella and Ethan are there for 6 months, and boy does it feel like it. You have my slow-burn-friendship fascination to thank for that.

The training stuff bores me. If I were a YA reader, I'd gloss over all those training sequences. I always strive for realism with my writing, so I didn't want Ella to transition from clutz to adequate too quickly. All the same, given the massive amount of YA literature with training montages, I could've cut mine down. The YA reader has seen it in a thousand other books.

The Integer also suffers from too much of Ella's internal dialoguing, her thoughts and feelings about everything. It's unsubtle, and it adds way too many words.

I'm pretty happy with the character development in this book. The Integer is where all the idiosyncrasies of the cadets finally make sense. I view The Integer as a book that's mostly about setting up character arcs that culminate in the final book. That is very likely boring to some readers who would've preferred a more action-heavy middle book.

I also really grew to love Ethan in this book. Unfortunately, I didn't have a full grasp on his character until I wrote that new draft after The Trace released, so there are some Ethan moments in the first book that I regret because, after getting to know him better, I don't think he would've responded that way.

In conclusion:

The Integer, while of better quality than its predecessor, still suffers from bloated, long-winded writing that could have been tightened to make the story stronger, cleaner, and more sophisticated. Additionally, it is character-heavy more than plot-heavy, with a strong emphasis on slow-build tension, so it might be a DNF for readers who just want the plot to kick in. Oh, and the fact that it's 90% a flashback is pretty jarring, so that could be another deal breaker. You will either love this book or hate it.

The Anamnesis

This was the book I was wanting to write from the beginning. As with The Integer, I'd had a complete draft of Anamnesis that ended up getting entirely re-written. To date, it's the fastest I've ever completed a draft. I think it only took 6 months?

The biggest thing I struggled to solve was what to do with Jimmy. I was very sure he had to die. He did die, in the first draft. I remember going for a walk on the trail near my house, praying for guidance on how to free the Tacemus without killing Jimmy, because now I was attached and wanted him to live.

This is my favorite of the trilogy, and it's the book I'm the most emotionally attached to. At this point, I don't think of it as my best or most important book, but it is the one most precious to me. I could not wait to write the reveal that Jimmy was actually a clone of Eugene Andrews; that One was, genetically, Jimmy's twin brother. I loved exploring the relationship between the original Eugene & Emmett in the flashback chapter. And all the cadets' arcs! Dutiful Ethan grappling with the fact that he's been serving a psychopath all his life, a man he admired as a father figure. (FYI, Jimmy's jealousy of Ethan was rooted in the fact that Leader loved Ethan and not him).

Haughty Vires gets humbled; insecure James rises to the occasion; timid Bridget is the first to join Operation Whitewash; Lydia finally gets an apology from Durgan. There were so many characters to deal with, and I'm so happy they each got their moment.

The pacing is pretty action-forward for a long time, so I don't have any complaints there. Sure, there are a few slower spots in the middle, but they don't last long, and they provide a reprieve from all the go-go-go commotion.

By this time, I was 28 years old and knew I needed to pull back on Ella's emotionalizing (wait, is this a word?), so, while I did have to keep her a certain way in order to be true to her character, I do believe she's less angsty come Book 3, with fewer moments of repetitive inner monologuing.

The only thing I regret about this book is the use of stun guns. I know they're established in sci-fi, but their usage felt cheap and convenient. I needed Evil Jimmy/Andrews to take down everyone fighting at Orbis, but I didn't want him to kill them all, so... stun guns. This allowed for a quiet showdown between only Ella and Andrews, and it provided the tension of worrying about whether people were alive or dead, but I wish I'd thought of something less hamfisted.

In conclusion:

The Anamnesis wraps up lose threads, completes character arcs, provides plenty of emotional punches, and is (hopefully) a thought provoking look at a few complicated themes, including: what to do when the enemy you've been fighting is actually yourself. I love how the story concludes. If I had to re-read one book from the trilogy, it would be this one.

Memento

While not a novel, I'm still including this 11-story collection. My analysis is brief. There are a couple stories I find on the duller side (Seven, Benefaction—because the boring obstacle course sequence), but I really enjoyed fleshing out the side characters and having the opportunity to shed light on some backstories that I wasn't able to give weight to in the trilogy.

In conclusion:

Memento is a fun read with some stories that are surprisingly poignant (Hijo, Noticed) that should satisfy the reader who's hungry for more of the Whitewash universe.

Iron Heart of Terlian

The funny thing about this book is, I thought it was terrible for so long. It was my first dip into fantasy, and it suffered from my horrendous outlining abilities (or lack thereof); thus, it took from 2019-2022 before I finally understood the story I wanted to tell. First it was about a babysitter. Then about an evil villainess. Read this blog post to see IHOT's transformation.

By the time I got IHOT into shape around 2023, I was so weary of the story that I figured everyone else would be weary too. Quite the contrary. My beta readers like this more than my Whitewashed trilogy. For purely emotional & nostalgic reasons, I can't agree, but I do believe that this is objectively a better book than all three of my trilogy.

It's too soon to have any serious beef with this story. I love Violet's reserved nature, rooted in pride, though she can't even see it. Since I'm currently working on the sequel, I get excited when I think about how the things I set up in IHOT are coming to light in BWOJ (title not yet revealed!).

In conclusion:

I love this story! Do I think it's the best story I've ever written? No, that honor goes to a certain Other Story which I am not yet at liberty to reveal. That story is my best, I think, and also my favorite (I think). But IHOT is my second-best, and third-favorite, following after Other Story and The Anamnesis.

For future consideration

Other Story is my fifth completed novel, which I will discuss when I can! I'm also writing the sequel to IHOT, which is about 80% finished and was ahead of its predecessor for a long time, in terms of favoritism, but lately I've been irritated with the story, so I don't love it as much. I'm definitely at the I-am-so-tired-of-working-on-this-story stage, but I know that I'll love the story again once it's finally complete.

My other WIP is 22 chapters in, an adult fantasy story about sirens. That one might become my favorite, if it turns out at all the way I hope it will.

And that, reader, is my long-winded breakdown of my published works. If you've read them, I'd love to hear your rankings!

The Fatal Question

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Good heavens. My last post was in 2019.

Let's not discuss it.

My latest novel, Iron Heart of Terlian, has just released! I am always asked: "How did you come up with the idea?" Anyone who's ever written a book can tell you there's no simple answer. If only there were. Brains are like spaghetti; the imagination is no different.

But, because I'm asked this so frequently, I will do my best to explain how the current story of IHOT came to be.

In 2017, I nannied for a family with four children. One afternoon it was just me and the two-year-old, exploring the backyard. As I watched her little mind make connections, I got struck with an idea: a little girl has a special power that an evil witch wants to exploit.

As it goes with my imagination, the story quickly progressed, all within the span of a few minutes. The witch was her mother. The witch had tricked a good man into marrying her so she could conceive a child, a child who'd have the power to destroy worlds. By the time this man realized how evil his wife was, it was too late. He gave his daughter to his brother for safekeeping, and was then murdered by the witch. The brother took his niece into our world in order to protect her from the witch. Meliora was the villainess, Kelispar the murdered father, and Alikar the brother.

Now in our world, Alikar, an absentminded and eccentric wizard (very much inspired by Howl Jenkins), is attempting to fit in. He needs someone to watch the little girl, Areli, while he does his Wizarding Things and keeps Areli safe. So he puts out an ad for a babysitter. It's somewhat of a magical ad, and that's how Violet discovers it.

Violet is in college for graphic design and was just recently fired from her job. The last thing she wants is to get a babysitting gig, which she finds demeaning. But, when told that Alikar pays a ridiculous amount of money... well, she goes to meet him.

Their relationship is very much Sophie and Howl (Howl's Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones). She finds Alikar ridiculous. Of course, they fall in love. But evil Meliora finds a way to Earth! She tricks Violet into revealing Areli's location, then kidnaps little Areli and takes her back to Other World.

Alikar is pretty furious at Violet and goes after Areli. Distraught by her mistake (and at having lost Alikar's respect), Violet finds a way to the Other World, joins forces with Alikar and his sidekick, Eliathor, and together they rescue Areli. Through her magic, Areli defeats Meliora. They all go back to Earth (sans Eliathor), Violet and Alikar make up, and everybody lives happily ever after.

I got about six chapters into drafting before I was like... there's too much time on Earth. They don't go to the Other World until right before the climax. And, by that point, I was itching to write something more epic fantasy, rather than very, very low contemporary fantasy. So I came up with an entirely different plot, one that enabled Violet to enter the Other World earlier and spend most of the story there.

I'd just heard the Scottish ballad "Skye Boat Song" and found the story of Bonnie Prince Charlie tragic and fascinating. That sparked the desire for a Rightful Heir to the Throne story (no, I'm not a Jacobite), where the true king is exiled in disgrace. I carried over the characters from my OG idea, keeping Meliora as the villain, though a more complex one. She still gets Kelispar killed, but she did love him and she's sad about it. And there's no more Areli because I didn't know what to do with a child in this new idea.

I wrote an entire, complete, beginning-to-end first draft in which Meliora pulls the strings, pretends to love Eliathor (they're not related in this version!), and manipulates a series of events that I can't describe because it's slightly spoilery. That draft ended with a heartbroken Eliathor having to murder his beloved Meliora in a cinematic way that was very much inspired by [stolen from] X-Men: The Last Stand, when Wolverine sobbingly stabs Phoenix. It was... dramatic. And by the time I got to that part, I already knew this idea wasn't working. Meliora's villainy was next level cringe. I'm pretty sure her lips evilly curved in a way that Morgana from BBC's Merlin would have envied. Evidently I cannot write a femme fatale.

So I had to create entirely new villains. There were two at first, Yakiv Stefanos and this guy named Yal (he got to keep his introduction scene in the final version—he's the cord thief aboard The Vagabond). Yal was a prince, and he wanted Eliathor for Reasons Which Cannot Be Disclosed. But the plot got too convoluted with both Yakiv and Yal, so I decided to combine my favorite qualities of both villains and shove them into Yakiv's persona. I apologize if this process pained him. I also kept Yal's prince backstory for, ahem, another character. More on that in Book 2.

But what to do with Meliora, who was no longer the main antagonist or even evil, for that matter? She was the hardest part of the rewrite. I considered scrapping her altogether, but then there'd be no female presence in the story other than Violet, and I really wanted to highlight feminine friendships. To this day, I am not 100% satisfied with her role in IHOT. It was simply too late in the process to recreate her entire personality and motivation in a way that felt organic. However, I do love where Meliora's story goes in the sequel, and now she has a permanent place in my heart. But, sadly, because I had to retrofit her into the plot, she's definitely one of the weaker characters in IHOT.

Over the next couple years, discovery writing took me all over the place and through many iterations of the plot, until I finally understood that liryn has crowns and cord thieves exist. That was an aha! moment that allowed all the various noodles of my spaghetti imagination to finally coalesce into a single lasagna noodle.

The main cast (Violet, Alikar, Kelispar, Meliora, and Eliathor) remained, and I picked up a few others along the way. When Violet et al. board The Vagabond, I made up the other passengers on the spot. I saw a picture of a guy on Pinterest and thought, "I want to create a character whose personality matches this guy's expression." That's how Nikos was born. I had zero plans for him, except as a passenger. That's how Yal was born, too—Yal, the previous villain who is now simply a cord thief in one scene. I saw a picture of some guy with a scar on his face and was like, "Him! I want him!"

My writing process is a blend of discovery writing and plotting. I macro plot and micro discover. So, I knew I needed my characters on a boat, but as to what would happen on the boat, it came to me while I wrote. Only later, when I decided Nikos was important, did I return to that scene and give him more significance.

Prince Ezio's character was pulled from a line in an earlier draft, when Violet has to approach Prince Ezio and describes his expression like "one who's watching a bull approach." After writing that line, I was like, "Huh, I guess Ezio is afraid of confrontation" and then I took that trait and ran with it.

Alikar is the only character who stayed the most consistent. He's rather vibrant in my imagination and is hands down one of my favorite characters to write. He gets his own POV in the sequel, and his voice just pours out onto the page.

Violet was always more on the reserved side, but it took awhile for her to feel real. Eliathor's original vibe can be compared to Volstagg in the Thor movies, and EL OH EL did he change.

I still have those few chapters of Violet and Alikar-the-uncle-who-needs-a-babysitter. It was hard to let go of that idea, I'll admit, but I'm so pleased with how the final story turned out. Will I ever use the original idea for something else? Probably not.

Would you like to read that original draft, messy and unedited though it may be? Let me know in the comments, and I can email it to you!

Are Authors Total Thieves?

Wed, 17 Jul 2019 14:48:29 GMT

So, you wrote a book.

The first thing every friend, family member, and fan will assume? You stole everything from real life because you're an unoriginal fraud. My response to that, after years of defending my honor, is...

FINE.

I'm calling their assumption and saying yes. I did steal some things. Why? Because I could. Because real life inspires me. Because nothing in this world is truly ours.

You might be surprised at the things I stole and the things I didn't. Allow me to enlighten you.

NAMES:

Ella Kepler
- My favorite childhood book was Ella Enchanted.
- I was in Astronomy class in college, learning about Kepler's Laws of Planetary Motion, when I first started writing. The name was totally a filler at first, but then it stuck.
Kara Watson
- Her name is an altered combo of the female celeb crushes (at the time) of my bestie and me. Hers: Kiera Knightley. Mine: Emma Watson.
Ethan Sheedy
- His name was initially Ian, so no: I DID NOT NAME HIM AFTER MY HUSBAND. (Whose name is "Nathan.") Then I learned about Ian O'Shea of Stephenie Meyer's The Host and thought the name & physical similarities were too problematic. So I asked a friend to come up with a different name, and she suggested Ethan because it's not far off from Ian. (Thank you, friend.)
- At the time, I babysat for a kid whose last name was "Sheedy." I thought it was the coolest last name ever, and appropriately Irish. Yes, he knows I stole his last name.
Grifters
- They were called "monsters" until a friend suggested the name of his brother's old band.
McFarland
- In elementary school, I was friends with a girl whose last name was McFarland, and everyone called her "McFartland"—not for any real reason other than being total jerks. I haven't seen this girl since I was 10, but I still think about that stupid name. I wanted to give it to a character who is strong, moral, and doesn't care one lick about petty insults.
Jimmy Daniels
- I knew a kid of a *very* similar name. He was the quirkiest, most unique kid I'd ever met. Initially, Jimmy was supposed to be Ella's random, funny classmate and nothing more. Then, he turned into one of the most critical characters of the series. Funny how that happens.
- When I was in college, Jimmy's namesake walked into the library where I worked, WHILE I was writing. Mind you, this was a decade after I'd last seen him, and in a different city. He totally remembered me, and we chatted for a bit. Did I tell him I was currently writing about a character I'd named after him? Heck no. I just gaped. It was surreal.

CHARACTERS:

Vires
- He's probably the most bona fide stolen character in my books. Initially, Vires was a filler character so that the academy contained cadets other than Ethan and Lydia Burnette. I didn't know much about him—what he looked or acted like. Then came my college Lit Theory class. I cannot describe to you what happened when I noticed a certain classmate. When he opened his mouth, my mind went *VIRES!VIRES!VIRES!* This character I'd never cared to develop suddenly exploded with life. His personality, his physical appearance, his manner of speaking—Hello, Vires. Nice to meet you.
- Said classmate inspired this blog post.
Kara
- In the earlier drafts, Kara was obnoxious, selfish, and bratty. I didn't realize until my alpha readers told me. No one cared when she got kidnapped! I decided she needed to appear innocent, fragile, and sweet, that way it's all the more horrifying that she winds up in the clutches of evil, and Ella feels all the more determined to save her. Much of her sweetness—plus her witty, quiet humor—came from one of my alpha readers, who dealt with these drafts much like Kara deals with Ella: in an honest, kind, tip-toey, mothering kind of way. It was this friend who delicately said, "Adelaide, does Ella have to play soccer?" A friend like that deserves to be imbued in our MC's bestie.

PLOT:

Stealing from my dreams doesn't count as stealing. But, in 8th grade, I had a dream where a girl was on the run from some evil forces and found safety in a cabin in the woods. There was a guy there, and of course they fell in love.
Flashforward to high school. At a friend's soccer game, I wondered what would happen if someone on the team had superpowers and the government sent spies to observe her to make sure she didn't draw too much attention to herself. Because of that idea, The Trace was about soccer for many, many drafts.
When I began writing, my bestie and I were separated by college. I could see her floundering—hanging out with the wrong crowd and making herself miserable. I wanted to rescue her but couldn't. So I wrote a book where a girl is desperately trying to rescue her best friend. It took me a long time to tell this friend, but she knows now.
This friend and I were also suffering through painful trials with our older brothers. Ella's journey toward forgiving Kyle Watson mirrored mine as I struggled to love my brother again. He and I are now BFFs.

SCENERY:

The dream that sparked The Trace took place in the Poconos Mountains of Pennsylvania. Mountains, trees, forests: those were my stomping grounds as I worked first through this idea. Naturally, my books had to take place in a similar setting.
My sister's in-laws live in Blairsville, GA, in an awesome house in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Every time I visited growing up, my imagination went wild with plotting. So that's where the academy is: somewhere around Blue Ridge. SPO-10, located in the made-up "Sullivan, GA," is actually in Blairsville. The Creekside grocery store where Ella+Ethan meet Mae Keane is Booger Hollow. (Yes, that's the real name.)
Durgan's Grifters live in Sumter National Forest in SC; Chron's Grifters live in the Francis Marion Forest (renamed "Dewey") in Wambaw ("Wallowaw") Swamp.
The Goose Swamp Navy base is actually Goose Creek in real life. My brother-in-law was stationed there.

So, there you have it. Feast your eyes on my thievery. Now it's your turn to tell me what YOU'VE stolen!

Why Is Your Trilogy Called "Whitewashed"?

Wed, 15 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

I've gotten that question a lot, so I figured I should formally answer it.

Here I was, thinking I'd found some super clever name to define my trilogy. Little did I remember the completely unintended connotation of the word.

First, let's start with the dictionary definition of the word "whitewash."

noun

a composition, as of lime and water or of whiting, size, and water, used for whitening walls, woodwork, etc.
anything, as deceptive words or actions, used to cover up or gloss over faults, errors, or wrongdoings, or absolve a wrongdoer from blame.
Sports Informal a defeat in which the loser fails to score.

Without being too spoiler-y, I'll just say the definition I'm intending falls into one of those three. (Okay, fine, my book is about woodwork. Now you know.)

Next, I'd like to address an alternate meaning of whitewash, the definition people of today's political climate might conjure first. Urban dictionary says as follows:

"A derogatory term used to describe a minority who has assimilated with western society. The 'White washed' person does not necessarily abandon his/her own culture but rather embrace others beside his/her own. Some people take it as a compliment while others take it as an insult."

Merriam-Webster has more to say:

"More and more people are using 'whitewashing' to describe the practice of casting white actors as non-white characters.
This new sense of whitewashing refers to casting white actors as characters who are non-white or of indeterminate race, as in the casting of Fiennes as Jackson. It can also refer to preferring white actors, directors, cinematographers, and so on, over equally qualified people of color, as in the Oscar nominations."

After reading those definitions, I can understand why readers are a bit wary when they see the title of my trilogy. Let me wholeheartedly reassure you: my books are in no way promoting Urban dictionary's or Merriam-Webster's definitions. When I chose the title Whitewashed, I was thinking only of the technical, non-colloquial meaning of the word.

Initially, this trilogy was meant to be called Anamnesis, but that title was already taken. I searched for another word that fit the overarching theme of the trilogy. Whitewashed was pretty spot on (again, according to the technical definition). When you reach Book II, The Integer, all becomes clear. And that's all I'll say on that!

So, there you have it. My trilogy is called Whitewashed because Ella is a carpenter on a quest for a lush lime tree which will give her all the properties of a magician. It's really all very straightforward. No reading between the lines there. Or should I say, reading between the limes...? Okay, I'm done.

Adelaide's Weird Experiment

Tue, 02 Apr 2019 15:00:06 GMT

*Warning! This post is very spoiler-y. If you haven't read books 1 & 2 of my Whitewashed trilogy, you're gonna be supa confused, and you'll ruin the series for yourself, soooo... don't proceed. Stop reading. Now. K bye.*

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you saw Star Wars in chronological order? Would the plot make sense, or is part of Lucas' genius that they must be watched 4-6, then 1-3? Like most millennials, I grew up watching the films in release order. I can remember seeing Phantom Menace and geeking out over the cherubic Anakin. "This kid's gonna grow up to be Darth Vader!" That foreknowledge is both a blessing and a curse. Because of it, I caught all the Easter eggs. And because of it, Anakin's downward spiral seemed contrived and disjointed. Lucas knew Anakin would turn, and that knowledge congested Anakin's character arc, painting him as an unlikeable creep before he'd killed any younglings.

Lest this post turn into a rant about Anakin and his feelings on sand, I'll shift gears back to my trilogy.

When I first came up with the plot for my series, I always intended to write the books in chronological order. It was my then-boyfriend, now-husband who suggested I tackle the first two books in reverse. "It would be really boring for the reader to know more than Ella does in Book #1," he said. "You should start the story after Ella's memory is wiped, that way the reader discovers the truth alongside her." Book #2 would really be the beginning, and Book #1 would be the aftermath.

That idea intrigued me. Imagine how many Easter eggs I could pile into Book 1! Imagine the delight of writing *this* scene, knowing it won't make any sense until Book 2! It'd be my own private joke that readers could appreciate later. And so, when I started writing The Trace in Astronomy class freshman year of college (correct, I was definitely not paying attention), I began Ella's story post-memory wipe. The first sentence - which has since been rewritten - read, for many drafts, "The first thing that hit me was the smell." Even THAT was an Easter egg! Why did the smell of her own home strike her as unique? Because she hadn't smelled it in over a year!

Quite a few years (and drafts) later, the full story is out there. Readers can walk through Ella's confusion in The Trace, then have all their lingering questions answered in The Integer when they learn about her past. "Ahh, she'd met all these cadets before! Ooooh, she didn't spontaneously become athletic. Eeeep, so THIS is why Chron acts like he knows her!" I love hearing my readers exclaim, shout, and gasp as Ella's story slides into place, but part of me always wondered (a very dangerous business, wondering is): What would happen if someone read the books chronologically?

- Would the story make sense?
- Would The Trace be boring because readers would know more than Ella does?
- Can The Integer actually work as an introductory novel to a series?
- Is it possible for my series to flow the way I want it to in reverse?

Of course, the only way to have these questions answered was by asking someone who's read the books chronologically. But who would ever think to do that? No one, because readers are intelligent creatures. If I wanted to get my answers, I'd have to find readers who knew nothing of the plot, then hand them my books - and some instructions - and let them have at it.

So that's what I did.

I shared my idea on Instagram expecting to get a few bites. When readers came out of the woodwork to ask more about this "weird" reading experiment, I realized I should preface every Instagram post with vague intrigue and mystery if I want to get any attention. (Just kidding. Sort of.) In fact, so many readers were curious that I decided to expand my reading pool from one to three. Then, because that didn't feel very satisfying, I opened the experiment up to any reader. Three readers received the print books, while the rest were emailed eBooks. Configuring the reading outline for the print books was doable, albeit time-consuming. Figuring out how to control the eBook trajectory was a whole other monster. Here's why.

The last chapter of Book #1 works as the first chapter of #2 - BUT, the prologue of #2 comes before the last chapter of #1. Readers had to go from #2 prologue to #1 final chapter; then, #2 Part I, followed by ALL of #1, and then back to #2 with Part II.

Confusing, right?

Yes. Yes it is. I got very mixed-up while planning this and had to ask myself a dozen times whether I was sure I'd gotten my own dang timeline correctly.

Anyway, by some miracle, my guinea pigs managed to follow along, though I did get lots of "Wait, so I do it THIS way, right?" messages. I sincerely applaud every eBook reader for having the patience to keep up! If someone asked me to jump from book to book on my Kindle, I'd be like, "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. No thanks."

Now, you probably want me to get to the point. How did it go? Were readers able to keep up with the plot? The answer to that was a shocking, resounding YES. The books work in reverse order! I'm as amazed as you are.

To streamline the results in a readable way, I'll do a list of pros and cons. There was a general consensus to this, though a few readers felt differently.

PROS:

Apparently Ethan Sheedy is the best thing since sliced bread. Every single reader commented on him. They loved knowing the #2 backstory while reading #1. This warmed my little heart, since I do think Ethan's personality isn't quite appreciated in a first read of #1. Only once you've read #2 do his Ethanisms in #1 make sense. Much of his struggle in #1 gets lost on the first-time reader.
Some readers really liked having all the information from #2 during their read of #1 in regard to the overarching plot. Things that are vague and uncertain in #1 (Grifters, Jimmy Daniels, Lydia Burnette's attitude, the way Sanders treats Ella) make much more sense if a reader has the background knowledge from #2.
A weird pro (that's also kinda a "con" for the actual, published order of the books) is some readers think they'd actually dislike #1 had they read it first! They enjoyed knowing Ella's backstory so much that they think NOT knowing would be too annoying. I guess we'll never know how they'd respond had they read the books in the published order. If only memory-wiping were possible...

CONS:

Some readers (wait for it) couldn't stand Ella in #1.
Some readers (wait even longer) didn't even want to finish #1. Because they were familiar with #2 Ella, jumping backward/forward to #1 Ella really threw them, particularly because Ella struggles with anger + guilt for much of #1. In #2, her emotional journey is less abrasive. Readers were used to her calmer, milder personality, and found her annoying in #1.
The readers who didn't enjoy knowing more than Ella does in #1 found her cluelessness frustrating. The beginning of #1 deals with Ella sudden physical prowess, but for those who'd read #2 and understood the origins, there was a bit of "Ughhhh, just ACCEPT it already!"
My writing style is obviously better in #2, which meant reading #1 next was a bit of a literary retrograde.
A few hinted-at "This is what's coming next" plot points in #2 didn't meet some readers' expectations in #1. Had they read the books in published order, they probably would've forgotten how satisfying/unsatisfying those points developed in #1. But, since they approached the story in reverse, they expected more than they got in #1.
- Jimmy Daniels/Banks, for instance. At the end of #2, we learn that he's going to befriend Ella at her high school and introduce her to the symbol & Society. However, none of that unfolds in #1, because Grifters are stalking Ella and the MTA whisks her away to safety. Jimmy is briefly introduced at the beginning of #1, and not seen again until the end, when Ella reads Durgan's memory and realizes Jimmy is part of the MTA. For readers expecting Jimmy to be a major part of #1, the letdown was annoying.

In conclusion, every reader at least enjoyed the series, and most would agree that #2, The Integer, is their preferred book. I'd have to agree. The Integer not only goes far more in-depth with the characters—it's also my second stab at a book, which means my writing is stronger. If I follow the same trajectory, Book #3 will be the best!

Overall, I'm happy with how this turned out. My hypothesis was that readers would feel disconnected from #2, having not read #1 first, but no one complained of this. I also suspected #1 would drag, and while the beginning did for some readers, most appreciated knowing more than Ella. My Easter eggs in #1 were noticed, and the side characters (Ethan, the cadets, One) were viewed in entirely different lights.

This being said, I stand by my decision to write the books in the order I did. Following Ella's emotional journey properly is crucial to understanding her character arcs, and the shock factor is entirely lost when the reader knows 1) Ella's memory was wiped; 2) Grifters aren't evil; 3) Sanders/Leader/Eugene Andrews is the real villain; 4) One is an individual Tacemus; 5) the reason behind the cadets' behaviors; and much more. While it's cool to know Ella's backstory before she does, that perspective does ruin what I wanted to do with this trilogy.

To all my readers: thank you so much for sticking through this convoluted experiment. Your feedback was enormously helpful in scratching that curious itch. Now I can rest assured knowing that, somewhere out there, people actually know how my story works in a chronological order. It was a weird itch to have, but authors are allowed to be weird. (We are. Don't argue.)

P.S. In case you thought I was lying about everyone commenting on Ethan, I present this reader feedback:

"I just want a whole lot more Ella And Ethan time! Also whoever hashtagged #ethella is genius."
"I only ask one thing for book 3, please don’t kill Ella or Ethan."
"It also made me like Ethan even more because reading book 1 after book 2 just proved how awesome of a guy he is..."
"I was SO sad for Ethan.
"Ethan really stole the show for me."
"Ethan is just that more amazing!"
"I [...] really like Ethan (have I mentioned that he’s a great guy....)"
"Concerning Ethan and Ella getting a happy ending?! *panics* Should I send you some chocolate just for precautions?"
"This one is just for my personal knowledge, lol, but was it Ethan on the bike watching Ella at the start of Trace?" [answer: nope, that was Banks/Jimmy. I think I told this reader it was someone else, but I remembered later who it ACTUALLY was. See? Even authors forget their plots.]
"This story has one of the best love interests ever- Ethan, the patient of all men."

You heard it from them first. Read my books, because Ethan is amazing.

The Trace: Why I Had To Write It

Tue, 02 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Why do we write? Well, for the same reason that we read: we believe in stories. My story started cooking in my head long ago, but I never had the will to do anything about it—until someone believed in me. A pinch of belief mixed with an ounce of determination (and, most notably, eight million heinous drafts) can produce a book.

It all comes back to the gap in my bookshelf. A slit between my books judged me every day, grumbling, “Why haven’t you filled me yet?” My excuse typically had something to do with time. I never seemed to have enough of it. To any writer struggling to put words on paper, time does exist; you only have to grab it when it finds you.

So, about that bookshelf gap…. It demanded that I fill it with the story I’d always wanted to read, the story no other book could quench. This story of mine revolved around a girl whose name shifted and bounced, whose personality wavered as I grew. Her authenticity, however, remained.

I often took issue with the YA protagonists of my youth—too bland, too faultless, too accepting of the mantle thrust upon them, too hardcore, or too “Why me?” My own brand of perfect protagonist floated in the “Just hang out there until I say you can leave” part of my brain. This protagonist struggled to jump right into the “conquering hero” mold; she could be cringe-worthily cheesy and awkward; she had faults that she tried ignoring; she got scared when the time to be heroic came; and, she was human. By that I mean ordinary, flawed, and most of the time unsure whether or not any of her efforts would make an impact. This protagonist floated in and out of the ideas my brain conjured. One day, she found her story and stayed put.

Take a covert operation of powerful humans, an army of even more powerful enemies, an ordinary girl who suddenly changes, a best friend who needs protecting, and you’ve got the stirrings of Ella’s story. It’ll twist, characters will make mistakes, truths will find the light, and bad guys will reveal their humanity. This story might make you groan, laugh, grimace, cry, roll your eyes, or throw something—like the book itself. Hey, paperback is durable; it can withstand a few hurls against the wall. Most importantly, though, The Trace will nudge something in you—be it good or bad—because it’s a story and that’s what stories do.

The Trace is Ella Kepler’s tale—no doubt about that—but she’s only a fragment in a plot that expands the more she uncovers. She grows, she retrogrades, she falls, and she falls again—and the story around her continues, because the world will turn, even if we stop. My hope is that Ella’s world will turn with you.

*This post was originally published at Evolved Publishing's website here*

Happy birthday, Ella!

Fri, 07 Sep 2018 14:16:56 GMT

First, I want it to be known that it's a pet peeve of mine when people don't use direct address commas. They're one of my favorite things, along with tea and books and cats.

But, more importantly...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ELLA!

Who is Ella, you ask?

Oh, boy.

Here is a picture of half of Ella's face. You may have seen her on the first edition book cover of The Trace. She's the main character of my Whitewashed trilogy, and today, September 7th, is her birthday! I've introduced her before, but I wanted to highlight Ella again, in honor of her growing a year older and all.

A few of her favorite things include:

Oranges
Her parents
Her bestie, Kara Watson
Asking questions
Being unorganized + messy (Ella and I would not get along)
Fighting for the truth
White chocolate
Teasing Kara
There's probably a guy somewhere on this list, but I won't mention him because it might embarrass Ella
Hating sports
Getting along with everyone
The color yellow
Botching vocabulary words

Some of my favorite Ella moments are the ones that include a painful self-realization–when she knows she's wrong and forces herself to admit it. It was very important for me to have Ella make poor judgments and choices, but to learn from her mistakes and resolve to do better the next time.

So, on that note, here are two of my favorite scenes with Ella. Don't worry, these are spoiler-free. I'm not evil.

THE TRACE, Book I:

The rooftop got quiet again, and I couldn’t ignore the elephant lurking on the roof any longer. “I’m... I’m sorry for being rude to you earlier,” I said, nervously flicking my fingernails against each other. “I was a total brat. You were trying to help, and I know you already have enough on your plate. Anyway, you were right, so... I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

“It’s all right,” he said, which only made me feel worse.

“No, it’s not. You can’t let me get away with things just because Kara is....” The word tripped in my throat and tumbled silently out. Missing. How long would that be true?

The simple act of inhaling became difficult, so I copied his position and lay flat. The millions of stars and galaxies that blinked above me reminded me how very small I was, and how very far away Kara was. Somehow, the MTA would find her. Somehow, I’d be strong enough to defeat whatever Grifters held her captive. But, if Sanders was right, I wouldn’t be strong enough, not until I worked some things out, things I didn’t exactly want to think about.

THE INTEGER, Book II:

"I'm not ordinarily a rude person," I mumbled, "but... well...." I glanced at him. "You haven't noticed my... snarkiness, have you?"

"I noticed, Kepler."

Shame warmed me. For the past two months, he'd seen right through me. "Why'd you keep me here, then, instead of sending me away for insubordination?"

"For all your uncivility, you've never been insubordinate. Besides, you have an understandable reason for your sullenness, though there's never an excuse for rude behavior."

I let his rebuke sink in. Maybe he would make a good friend, one day in the infinitely distant future.

"I'll do better," I said, holding his gaze for once.

I just realized that both of these scenes include He-who-will-not-be-named. No, not Voldemort. Calm down. I speak merely of the aforementioned guy on Ella's list of favorite things. Apparently she's rude to him a lot. But at least she apologizes, so there's that.

To all those celebrating a birthday today, may you always grow in self-awareness!

Meet Bobby

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

So I mentioned before that my mom was a daydreamer. When her family members caught her zoning out, they would say that she was "Playing Bobby." No idea where that expression came from, but I do know what Playing Bobby means. Growing up, I assumed everyone daydreamed to the extent that I did. It wasn't until early adolescence that I noticed that none of my other friends daydreamed anymore. In fact, they'd never daydreamed like I had.

For a while, I just felt like a weirdo. I was plagued by the desire to do something I should have stopped doing years earlier. Somehow, the topic came up with my mom, and that was when I realized I wasn't alone. She knew what daydreaming was, too. Lots of writers probably Play Bobby, she told me. That was where they got their stories. It was then that I became proud of my imagination and didn't resent it.

So, what the heck does that even mean, and why can't you just call it "daydreaming" instead of talking about some guy named "Bobby" who none of us knows?

Well, for starters, it doesn't mean that I can't distinguish between what's real and what's not. I don't believe I have mystical powers. I may be a proficient cat whisperer, but that's not imagined—that's real. Just ask my former piano teacher's cat, who only came downstairs when I came over for lessons. It wasn't because he wanted to tell me to stop hurting his ears; it was because he liked me. Thanks, Beethoven.

Basically, it just means that I imagine a scene in my mind—say, two people arguing—and watch it unfold like a movie. It actually helps me solve conflicts, though sometimes I get carried away. When the conflict concludes with the other person sobbing and begging for understanding and forgiveness, I know I should probably try to be more realistic.

Before I write a scene, it helps if I close my eyes for a few minutes and imagine the scene that I want to write. When I don't do this beforehand, I usually write really crappily. (Yes, that's a word.) When I'm trying to write a dialogue scene, I might close my eyes and hover my fingers over the keyboard, typing the conversation as it happens in my head without pausing to add facial expressions or dialogue tags. So it might look like:

I’m not a very good leader.
That’s all right. You can’t do everything.
But I want to help. I want to feel useful.
Why do you have to lead in order to be helpful? Being a leader is just one role someone can play. There are other jobs of equal importance that need doing.
Leading seems like the best one, though.

^^Most of my dialogue scenes look like that until I go back and flesh them out. (Speaking of writing dialogue, I've been having so much trouble writing dialogue scenes lately, because I'm torn between this paranoia of using too many dialogue tags/descriptors, or having too much dialogue without enough beats. That's a conversation [ha ha, get it?] for another post, I suppose.)

Anyway, I daydream a lot. My husband doesn't really get it, but then again, he also rarely dreams while sleeping. I, on the opposite hand, have multiple, vivid dreams each night, and I almost always remember them upon waking. There must be some connection between daydreaming and night dreaming.

Do you daydream a lot? Will you join the Bobby Club? Let me know!

Book review: a chosen life

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 14:10:37 GMT

I love reading books. Goes without saying, right? I think, though, what I love more is reading a book AND getting to know the author, too. There's this magic thread that somehow draws authors together, and that thread did its thing and introduced me to K.A. Parkinson - who not only is super cool, but also writes great books.

A CHOSEN LIFE (<-- that's a link, so click it!) reminded me why I write young adult: it is such an experience to empathize with the raw joys, heartaches, and frustrations of adolescents. Parkinson has succeeded in tugging my heartstrings all over the place, and she's done it so expertly. Often times I find myself irritated with the selfish or angsty motives of YA protagonists, but I TOTALLY understood Tolen and Macy. The best part is they're completely self-aware. They know when they're being stubborn boneheads - and that's what makes them real.

This book was a ride from the very first chapter, all the way to the gut-punching end (ahh, you cliffhanger demon, Parkinson!). I'm a sucker for powered people, and these Chosen are legit. I want my own Bastian (numero uno fav character). The cleanliness of A CHOSEN LIFE was awesome, too, proving that books can still kick you in all the right places without needing the language, gratuity, etc. I loved the world and its explanation for the existence of evil. I laughed at Macy's sassiness and awwww'd over Tolen's awkwardness. I got scared every time the flippin' Shadows were mentioned. And I got angry when the book ended. Already started reading the sequel, THE SHADOW PRISON. Yessss. I love when sequels are already out.

Thanks, Parkinson, for reminding me why YA books rule.

Project Anamnesis

Wed, 25 Oct 2017 17:31:45 GMT

Guess what? The Integer will offish be releasing November 2018! It might seem a long way off, but I know a way to make the time fly, something that'll satiate your curiosity and give you an exclusive look into the backstory for The Integer. I'm excited to announce the launch of Project Anamnesis.

The world of Whitewashed began long before Ella entered the scene. She's a mere blip in a story that's spanned for generations. Project Anamnesis is a collection of vignettes from that greater story; it's a glimpse into the tales Ella can't tell because she doesn't own them. Each month, I'll be releasing a short story or two from the perspectives of characters we love, characters we hardly know, and characters we fear. These vignettes will be available only through my newsletter, so you won't find them anywhere on my website or through Evolved Publishing. To gain access to these stories, just sign up for my newsletter. It's literally that easy!

I have a million stories in my head that I've been wanting to tell. Now, I finally can. Project Anamnesis is the culmination of too much daydreaming; but, more than that, it's a reminder that our own stories aren't the first, nor will they be the last. Stories existed before us, and they'll continue long after. I'll let Tolkien finish making my point here.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.